Winter Wonderland?

It’s Christmassssssssssssssssssss, well actually NO it’s NOT – It’s November but if Shopping Centres, supermarkets and high streets insist on Christmas decorations and festive music, IN MID-NOVEMBER, then I guess there’s no escape.

Usually I wouldn’t mind as I love Christmas, I’d see the above as the perfect excuse for me to blast out Buble’s Christmas Album and tap along – this year though it’s different. 

It’s like I’m in some poorly budgeted Christmas family-comedy themed movie, yes I’m currently taking a supporting role in…. The Dog That Cancelled Christmas.

Guess who the main star is everybody!

Harry is fine in the house, in terms of understand his toilet is OUTSIDE! And to be fair, 90% of the time is calm inside, but that leaves the 10% of the Harry goes mental – racing round, barking, trying to eat anything he can see (human flesh included), barking etc etc.

As I say, I love Christmas – getting the tree out and decorating it, making our room look all grotto-like, warm and welcoming. Having Harry around however is make me seriously question doing any of that this year, I can picture it now – he’ll be trying to play with the bulbils (if I’ve totally spelt that wrong and you have no idea what I mean, those round colourful things which hang from the tree…). 

He’ll no doubt chew the tinsel and be weirdly mesmerised by the fairy lights… as for the pop-up Santa we’ve got, he’ll probably try and hump that, especially if it smells like apple (Don’t ask!)… SMUT!

How can we enjoy Christmas and our little grotto if Harry the evil elf-dog is hell bent on humping Santa and destroying the tree? I’ve no idea what will happen when all the family are round and buried in a sea of wrapping paper come Christmas Day!

I guess there’s plenty of time to think about that, a more pressing issue though is the Snow which is bound to fall sooner rather than later – it’s getting terribly cold out there and another outbreak of the white stuff is set to fall according to the weather forecasters.

I reckon he’ll be good at getting us out if it gets quite deep to be fair, open the front door and attach him to the lead, it’ll be clear within seconds!

The other day I picked up December’s copy of Your Dog, the magazine I referenced a few blogs back.

Being the December issue, naturally it’s Christmas themed and inside, it has a list of things to do with your dog over the festive period as well as some great ideas for Christmas presents for your pet. Basically a cracker full of dog treats!

Last year it snowed heavily on Boxing Day and it basically caused chaos for about a week afterwards, I’ve been thinking about how much worse it would have been had Harry been around. 

I’ve also been thinking about the whispers of imminent snowfall and, inspired by Your Dog’s lists – I’ve decided to compile my own list of practical essentials for a Puppy Owner to cope through the Christmas period and combat the Snow, chilling wind and temperatures and storms.

Please note, many items on this list are listed through sarcasm and probably don’t even exist – if they do, er well Merry Christmas I guess?

1

.  High-visibility Dog-Lead/Jacket
For those of us who walk our dogs in dark conditions around areas with exceptionally poor lighting and dogs with black/dark coats – not being able to see where your dog is properly is a hazard!

2Attachable Snow-Plow
Ideal for clearing paths and driveways – just attach to the front of the dog and let them loose. Note, item 1 would be required to ensure you don’t lose them in the snow!

3Body-warming outfits
I’m not talking a thick coat and a wooly hat, I’m talking some sort of onesie type under top/bottoms which heats up when it senses you are freezing. Perfect to stop you going in the opposite direction of frosty the snow-man, especially when your dog is too busy chasing the remaining leafs on their walks.

4Endless supply of socks
Because the above will never happen, can someone PLEASE keep topping up my sock drawer to prevent me having to put the washing on every other day. Thanks

5A cup of tea awaiting your return from a walk
Or with the recent weather, should that not be treck across the antartic? Either way, a nice warm cup of tea awaiting the return of a dog walker from a loved one who has stayed inside, this avoiding dog walking duty, wouldn’t go a miss!

6 Magic Shield, Ala Harry Potter, to protect the Grotto!
Alright, I’m going too far now I know

I’m sure some other random thing will cross my mind to add to the list at some point. As ever, if you have any tips/ suggestions – please let me know! That’s it for this week, I’ve got a Christmas decoration box to fetch out and a defence strategy to plan – Harry must not hump Santa, or Rudolph, the horny little devil!

Rudolph, not Harry.

P.S for those who think Harry has changed from the photos of the Blonde dog, That's my Jaz (R.I.P) who adored Christmas! All I want for Christmas eh, stop it - I'll cry!